Newcastle United vs Everton

1. 90'

   He doesn't. One all and a fine performance from both teams, a certain Newcastle defender notwithstanding. Everton will perhaps feel hard done by with just the one point after poor refereeing cost them a goal and a penalty.

2. 90'

   James Beattie has been give ten seconds to change the outcome of the game.

3. 90'

   Emre tries to score from the corner. Idiot.

4. 90'

   Osman is booked for bringing down N'Zogbia and now Newcastle have a corner.

5. 90'

   Good covering header from Neville as Sibierski was looking to get the winning goal from Carr's cross. Lescott then blatantly brings down Rossi and the ref somehow misses what was clearly a foul.

6. 88'

   James Milner has just won the man of the match award which, confusingly has not been given to Titus 'justcallmeBaresi' Bramble.

7. 87'

   N'Zogbia's shot goes straight at Tim Howard.

8. 85'

   Milner does well to get back and tackle Johnson who was looking like he was about to unelash a shot of such unstoppable venom that had Steve Harper got in the way of it it would surely have ruptured his spleen and sent him flying over St James' Park in to a Bigg Maket pub causing glass and beer to be thrown around the place in flurry of black and white confusion.

9. 84'

   Cahill knock the ball back to Carsley twenty yards from goal but the Irishman's shot is poor and sails well wide of the goal.

10. 83'

    N'Zogbia's cross is long, i.e rubbish, and he is unable to find Rossi in the box.

11. 82'

    Now Moore misjudges a header but gets a second chance and is able to hoof the ball away. It has not been a day for defenders.

12. 81'

    Moore gives the ball away and Osman pounces on it and charges towards the goal. Harper is on hand to block his shot though and spare Moore's blushes.

13. 80'

    Martins is making way for Giuseppe Rossi.

14. 79'

    Yobo comes up from the back but his effort goes wide.

15. 79'

    It is played low towards Johnson but goes behind for another corner.

16. 78'

    Arteta goes round Emre and wins a corner out on the right.

17. 77'

    That is the tenth sending-off in this fixture since the Premiership began. If you are interested in those sorts of thing.

18. 76'

    Oh dear. Keen to join his close friend Titus in the bath, Tony Hibbert makes a rash challenge, receives a second yellow and takes the long walk back to the dressing room. Ten against ten now.

19. 73'

    Cahill is forced down the left wing and manages to win a throw-in. The ball is played in towards Osman but Bramble rounds off a fine day's work by bringing him crashing to the floor, conceding a free-kick on the edge of the penalty area and receiving his second yellow card. Bye-bye Titus. Newcastle's chances of winning this game have just improved.

20. 72'

    Bramble fouls Hibbert with a clumsy challenge and Everton get the free-kick. They knock the ball around but give it away cheaply.

21. 69'

    Cahill attack down the right wing but are forced back. They try through the middle but no joy there either and Newcastle are allowed to break. Martins fends off Yobo before Lescott does enough to put the stiekr off allowing Tim Howard to block the shot with his body.

22. 67'

    Neville does well to get the ball out of defence and Johnson skips round Bramble but the Newcastle player, showing something approaching defensive ability, does well to get back and tackle the Everton striker.

23. 66'

    Cahill gets a head to the ball when it coems in but was also pushing in the box the naughty boy and Newcastle are awarded a free-kick.

24. 65'

    The speedy Cahill's path is obstructed blatantly by Emre and he is quite rightly booked.

25. 64'

    Newcastle waste the corner and Tim Howard places the ball for a goal-kick.

Leaders

NEWEVE

Total Shots

Obafemi Martins

7

Leon Osman

3

Saves

Steve Harper

4

Tim Howard

9